Home » Personal Musings » I’m Wearing Down to the Real

I’m Wearing Down to the Real

[Quotes from “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams]


Some days, getting older is a real drag (literally and figuratively)…the graying hair, the middle-aged spread, the skin spots, the forgetfulness, the sense of being either in the way or invisible to the younger generations…

…and on other days, getting older is tempered by the Velveteen Rabbit.

velveteen rabbit I

Let’s face it — I’m wearing down to the Real.

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse.
“It’s a thing that happens to you..
When a child loves you for a long, long time,
not just to play with, but REALLY loves you,
then you become Real…It doesn’t happen all at once.
You become. It takes a long time.”

It has taken a long time, but sometimes it feels like overnight. Wasn’t it just a short time ago that I graduated from college, then optometry school? Set up my practice, got married, became a mother? In fact, when did I become my mother when I look in a mirror? (See: When Did I Start to Look Like My Mother?)

I’m wearing down to the Real.

“Generally, by the time you are Real,
most of you hair has been loved off,
and your eyes drop out
and you get loose in the joints
and very shabby.
But these things don’t matter at all,
because once you are Real,
you can’t be ugly except to people
who don’t understand.”

My hair is getting gray at the roots, my eyes haven’t dropped out but night-time driving in the rain is risky, and there’s a certain delayed reaction with certain joints — I get up but my body lags behind my head. If my joints aren’t cracking, they’re stiff.

But I’m wearing down to the Real.

Only authentic goods here.

My heart is bigger, my insight deeper, my tolerance wider, my amusement heartier, as I get worn down to a well-loved vehicle. And I hate to admit it, but I even have some shabby – or is it flabby – matronly moments, too.

“When you are Real, shabbiness doesn’t matter.”

But it’s taken me a long time to get to the Real Theresa…the reason-for-being, meaning and purpose in life, I can die and will have made a small positive difference Theresa who is comfortable in her own wearing out skin.

And that’s a good thing, because in wearing down to the Real,

“Once you are Real, you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

I’m wearing down to the Real.

I’m steeped in readiness.

And I am blessed, indeed.

velveteen rabbit


34 thoughts on “I’m Wearing Down to the Real

  1. You have said it so beautifully Theresa. I join the club with you. There comes a point in age that we finally say OK this is me and I am pretty darn good. We play well and laugh much and love more. Thanks for reminding me :o).

  2. Wearing down? I feel like one of those GI Joe dolls that has been twisted, jumped on and flung in the corner. The good thing is I’m there with all the other worn and torn velveteen rabbits. πŸ™‚

  3. You are Real Theresa. And rest assured, you have and are making a positive difference. Old should be something we look forward to since so many never get the chance to experience it.

  4. Oh my goodness this post spoke to me. I love it and will remember it, to view the process as wearing down to the REAL. How beautiful. How sacred. Authenticity has been a major keystone for Don and I – how to be that. How to be completely self revealing with ourselves, with each other, with everyone we meet, with the world. The more we practice the more we become REAL. Such a blessed journey. Still not happy about the stiff hips bit though πŸ™‚
    Thanks for the likes on our blog. Thanks for visiting.
    Blessings, Alison

    • Welcome to Soul Gatherings! I am so glad that this spoke to you, and appreciate your words of wisdom in return. We’ll be wearing down to the real together… With gratitude and blessings.

  5. Oh I so love this (as I become more real by the day!) What a perfect pairing (wish I’d thought of it!) What a magical Real read!

    I absolutely agree with Old Mainer as it is a privilege denied so many, to become Real.

  6. Reblogged this on A Delectable Life and commented:
    After Saturday’s fall, I’m feeling Realer by the minute! This is so beautifully written. I was trying to write my own story on Saturday’s adventures but couldn’t seem to get myself together. So I read my (what is usually morning read) and discovered this waiting in my inbox.

    To those of you who are feeling more Real, enjoy!

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