Home » Personal Musings » Thursday Re-View — Dear Theresa…

Thursday Re-View — Dear Theresa…

grades

Dear Theresa – 7th grade:

Hang in there, young lady. It’s not about you; it’s about him.

No it’s not fair, but you’ll learn as you get older that life isn’t fair, but you make the best of it. Who knows why your teacher is doing what he’s doing. It makes absolutely no sense to take away points from your test and paper grades and give them to the other students.

“They need the points more than you do.”

Absurd. You should be recognized for all of the hard work you put into studying. Each afternoon, you come home from school and study until dinner. Then you dry the dishes (someday, you’ll have something called a dishwasher that does all that for you), help your Mom and Dad downstairs in their factory, then study some more until bed time.

And your teacher has the audacity to take away points from your hard-earned As and 100s. No wonder you’re coughing and having trouble sleeping. You can’t figure out why he would do something so unfair. There will come a time when you’re a lot older that his behavior will have a name – bullying – and it will be in the newspapers weekly, in an effort to stop its terrible consequences. It plays with a person’s head, and that’s not right.

But for now, hang in there, young lady.

You’ll learn what good teachers are during all your years of education. (In fact, do you know that you will actually go through almost 12 years of schooling after you graduate from high school? I know, I know – hard to believe, but you’ll always need to be learning something new, or you’ll get bored…) And you’ll realize that not all men are threatened by women of a certain intelligence.  In fact, someday you’ll not only marry a man who is challenged by them, you’ll raise a son who respects them as well. 

But back to your teachers…

Like Mr. Altemose in 10th grade, who’ll teach you to always look at both sides of a story, and to search for the reasons why people act the way they do.

And Mr. DeHaven in your Senior year, who will tell you that it won’t be easy to get all As once you’re in college, but to always do your best, and that will be good enough.

Or Dr. Markowicz, your English professor in undergrad. He’ll be the toughest prof in the department, and you’ll respect him so much that you’ll welcome all his criticisms in order to become a better writer. You’ll like him so much, that after a year of English Composition, you’ll take him for Latin for two more semesters. The other students will tell you that you’re crazy, but you’ll listen to your Self, and learn more from him than anyone else in college. Pretty strange, since you’ll be a Biology major/Chem minor. He’ll even come to your Open House when you start your optometry practice (what – you didn’t know that you’ll be a Doctor someday???), in order to wish you well.

And Dr. Deglin, the retinal specialist? You’ll follow him like a puppy in order to soak up his knowledge, and he’ll never put you down or disrespect you. In fact, he’ll be glad for someone so eager to learn, and he’ll show you enough retinal diseases that you’ll know them like the back of your hand.

There’s Dr. Ciarrocchi, too, in grad school. You’ll beg him to allow you into a Ph.D. class while you’re in the Master’s Program. When he finally relents, its Cognitive Behavioral Therapy slant will become the foundation of your clinical practice as a psychotherapist. Thoughts matter. They become actions that display your character.

Which brings us back to your (nameless) 7th grade teacher.

Don’t worry about him. He’s a small man, doing small things to you. For whatever reason, and there are no doubt many, all having to do with his insecurities, he has chosen you to pick on. He is abusing his position of authority, and debasing the sacred vocation of teaching. Although it doesn’t feel like it now, he will not be able to stop you from succeeding. You will storm through whatever he tries to do to you and will rise above his actions with your own perseverance.

And you’ll be the better for it.

When there’s an obstacle in your way, go through it or around it or over it or under it. Don’t let it stop you from your dreams.

You are a child of the universe.
No less than the trees and the stars,
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

With my blessings and love,

Theresa, Middle-aged

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15 thoughts on “Thursday Re-View — Dear Theresa…

  1. Theresa, this is a beautifully written, powerful post. Bullying has such a powerful, lasting affect. I’m so glad you had so many wonderful people to make up for that teacher’s actions. And you pay it forward in so many ways– I know your blog had touched me many many times!

  2. I like this Theresa. Some of the worst bullies in school are the teachers.
    I tried sending a letter to my younger self, it got returned, not at this address. 😉

  3. this coughing comment reminds me of the time, my aunts sister , twenty years after my mother died from coughing, a cough so violent she cracked ribs coughing, made. she said it was from nerves. i never wanted to hit anyone , until then.
    and now i’ve been coughing for 14+ years from toxic molds-stachybotyrus.that’s what she said to me- nerves..my chiropractor says it feels like i will break his fingers.psychiatrist just shook his head at that stupid lady.

  4. Teachers like this are a disgrace to the profession. They are not teachers; they are bullies and should be reported to the administration. If that doesn’t work, then go public with a letter to the editor of your local newspaper or contact an investigative reporter. This man does not stop at one student .

    • Thank you for that point of view. Bullying is in the news all the time now, but 40 years ago, it was only thought of in terms of a few rough students who everyone knew about, never the teachers. I never thought in terms of him probably not stopping at one student; you’re right. At any rate, I did fine in spite of his antics! Thank you for reading and commenting.

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