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Endings

There seem to be more endings than new beginnings as I get older. And one starts to wonder just how many endings can continue until there’s nothing left.

This train of thought started with a Facebook post by my ex-husband, notifying his world that our house was finally sold. Finally. Good news about not having to carry two mortgages anymore in today’s difficult economy.

But this was the house that we built 27 years ago, after years of scouring house plans for just the right one. The custom-built house that we watched become a home from the ground up…the footers being poured, the walls being erected, the sheet rock hung, the roof laid, the rooms painted. We went there every night after work to check on the progress, showing Alex, at one and a half, his future home.

Everything happened there – a marriage, raising a son, bringing in 2 cats (Peanut and Freddie) and a dog (Misty), birthday parties, Easter celebrations, Christmas dinners. Alex’s Communion and Confirmation, his driver’s license, his high school and college graduations. And our divorce.

So many memories, so many years, so much laughter and so many tears. The house breathes them. Inhale peace, exhale hostility. Inhale love, exhale animosity. Inhale hope, exhale despair.

I hope that a family bought the house, and that their dreams are fulfilled within its sanctuary. I hope the walls ring with their joy and laughter, and that the years bring them all that they deserve, and more.

For it is a good house, with good bones, with a heart that has known love. Just blow the dust of the years away and bring in the fresh air of hope and new beginnings.

For this is sacred ground. A family lived here, loved here, lost here.

And may a new family be found here.

How many endings until there’s nothing left?

I hope only for the balance of a new beginning.
house

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25 thoughts on “Endings

  1. I agree that there seems to be more endings than beginnings as we age. Or perhaps we are more sensitive to them than we used to be or we are less distracted. We struggle to accept and move on, endings weigh heavily upon our hearts. This is a lovely ode to a time gone by, a final farewell blessing.

  2. i am finding this to be true, as well and I keep reciting the cliches in my head about closing one door and opening a new one……it doesn’t bring much comfort to my soul.

  3. I’ve heard we spend the first part of our lives filling up a bag of experiences, and the rest of our life learning to let go.
    While I’ve still got a lot to learn about letting go, I’m still having many new experiences.
    I got another lesson in letting go this weekend. I attended a celebration of life for a cousin. I seem to going to more of those than weddings. Or so it seems.
    This morning is glorious and I see it’s another new day. I’m grateful.
    Vincent

  4. Well said, all. I have thought about the day this house won’t house anyone I know — an odd thought, and not welcomed. And overall, indeed, it’s like we’re tying off ends all around the quilt, and the moment we’re done, we’ll have to give it away.

  5. Oh Theresa, I’ve experienced this too. Your feelings about your home are familiar to me. Then it was a home. Now it is a house. A new chapter begins. The hurt will pass but the memories remain.

  6. Yes, it is true. As one gets older, people and circumstances seem to slip silently away. There are new challenges, however, most of them dealing with health issues with oneself and others. Where are the golden years? Perhaps they have become pewter or tin instead.But, there is still time to love and care for others.

  7. Theresa, Congrats on the sale of the house. I know the stress in securing a sale and also finding and landing the next.
    We take with us the good the bad and the ugly. The house is like a guard over those things. When we move on it is the changing of the guard as well, ready to wiatch over and be witness to the new owners’ experience.
    Whenever, I had the ocassion to stop by our former residence, I experienced a strange unfamiliar feeling. As though it’s personality had changed. I suppose it took on the aura of the ways of the new family.
    -Alan

  8. Business required us to own 6 houses over the years. It was the experiences that turned them into homes. Each provided it’s own set of memories, all cherished. Loved this.

  9. Drat, didn’t intend to post that last comment “in half.” 😔 What I wanted to say was that, cliched as it sounds, home really IS where the heart is. As another reader wisely observed, any structure is just a house until we inhabit it and make it ours with our love, laughter and experience. I feel certain that the “good juju” of your time in this home has become part of its fabric, and any sadness and pain experienced There has drifted away. Wishing you only peace and joy as you move forward….

  10. I’m rather weepy of late, but this post plucked my heartstrings. I don’t really know what I want to say to you…I guess just Thank you. I can feel the sorrow…but I can also feel the joy. It is important to feel.

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