Thursday Re-View — Conversations with Myself

Thoughts on my high school graduation:

• Congratulations on being named Salutatorian – second place folks always try harder!
• Your first night away from home will be your first night away at college. That’s hard to believe, but then again, 1972 was a different time. Stay safe, have some fun, but not too much, and do your best. Notice I said “do your best” – I didn’t say you have to be perfect.
• College is totally different from high school – much harder, but you can do it. Your parents were right to send you to a coed college; you’ll need to learn about how to get along with all types of people, including both genders.
• Your boyfriend will keep in touch with you; don’t be so scared about the girls at his college. They’re not you.
• Always believe in yourself. Your parents already do.

Thoughts on my college (undergraduate) graduation:

•  You broke up with your high school boyfriend – the first boy you ever dated (Yes – your parents did make you wait until you were 17 years old!!! Things are different now, to say the least). It happened to a lot of students. You were heartbroken, but survived. In fact, you did more than that – you thrived, and met a handsome, intelligent, romantic young man who stole your heart.
• This boyfriend broke up with you – heartbroken again – but you couldn’t compete with the Homecoming Queen. That’s all right. Wait until you see what life has in store for you!
• Being a biology/pre-med major tested all of your discipline, used all of your brain and forced you to manage your time wisely, but in the long run, it will be worth it.
• You believed in yourself. Your parents never stopped believing.
• Parties?  You went to one as a freshman, to see what all the excitement was about, then one as a Senior to say good-bye to your friends. What was all the fuss???
• What were you thinking, trying to be sorority president and residence hall advisor for your sorority house at the same time? You learned a lot about diplomacy and politics, to say the least.
• Dean’s List, Who’s Who – you did good!  Keep striving.

Thoughts on my Optometry School graduation:

• Congratulations, Doctor. You look lovely with that rose.  Best friends for life?  Probably not, but that’s okay.  There will be other friends.
• Optometry school was such a challenge; who knew that studying one organ in the body could take 4 years of didactic and clinical hours? At least you might be able to get more than 3 hours of sleep a night from now on.
• You’re either brave or not too smart – you actually rented office space for your own practice before you graduated? Before you took your Boards? Before you even found out if you passed State & National Boards? But I guess if you believe in yourself – if you invest in yourself – all things will be well and will work out.
• This has been no small achievement.  By working harder now than you ever have, you’ll find it to be easier in later life.
• You will start from nothing, and in becoming successful, earn the trust of many.  Never take that for granted.
• Good luck in private practice (you’ll have 15 years). You have the tremendous privilege of being entrusted with people’s eyesight; take that seriously and remember to be mindful of the miracle that is sight.

Thoughts on my graduate school graduation:

• You did it! You switched careers and went back to school.  Who said life begins at 40?  There were right – late 40s, anyway.
• You found what you were born to do, where you were supposed to be.  These three years will count among the happiest times in your life.
• As an eye doctor, you helped people to see.  Now, as a therapist, you’ll help them to see with the eyes of their heart.
• You are going to sit with more pain, despair and suffering, in darkness, than you could ever imagine, or even know existed.  But you will be the better for it.  You will learn to look for the light.
• You will be a keeper of secrets, a listener of stories, and you will be changed forever.  You will learn compassion and presence and gain insight into this journey called life.
• You will see countless examples of the triumph of the human spirit, and will learn that we don’t have a soul, we are a Soul, in this, our Creator’s kindergarten.
• As a wounded healer, you will heal others, on their way to wholeness.  But don’t forget to offer yourself that same gift.
• You will tread on Sacred Ground.  Walk softly, for their spirits are diminished and their souls are bruised.
• Be well, my child, be well.  The best is yet to be!

_____________________________________________

Today’s Quote

We all pay for our choices,
and whatever life we choose
determines the kind
of payment we make.

~ E.L. Doctorow ~
American Writer

_______________________

Conversations with Myself

Thoughts on my high school graduation:

• Congratulations on being named Salutatorian – second place folks always try harder!
• Your first night away from home will be your first night away at college. That’s hard to believe, but then again, 1972 was a different time. Stay safe, have some fun, but not too much, and do your best. Notice I said “do your best” – I didn’t say you have to be perfect.
• College is totally different from high school – much harder, but you can do it. Your parents were right to send you to a coed college; you’ll need to learn about how to get along with all types of people, including both genders.
• Your boyfriend will keep in touch with you; don’t be so scared about the girls at his college. They’re not you.
• Always believe in yourself. Your parents already do.

Thoughts on my college (undergraduate) graduation:

•  You broke up with your high school boyfriend – the first boy you ever dated (Yes – your parents did make you wait until you were 17 years old!!! Things are different now, to say the least). It happened to a lot of students. You were heartbroken, but survived. In fact, you did more than that – you thrived, and met a handsome, intelligent, romantic young man who stole your heart.
• This boyfriend broke up with you – heartbroken again – but you couldn’t compete with the Homecoming Queen. That’s all right. Wait until you see what life has in store for you!
• Being a biology/pre-med major tested all of your discipline, used all of your brain and forced you to manage your time wisely, but in the long run, it will be worth it.
• You believed in yourself. Your parents never stopped believing.
• Parties?  You went to one as a freshman, to see what all the excitement was about, then one as a Senior to say good-bye to your friends. What was all the fuss???
• What were you thinking, trying to be sorority president and residence hall advisor for your sorority house at the same time? You learned a lot about diplomacy and politics, to say the least.
• Dean’s List, Who’s Who – you did good!  Keep striving.

Thoughts on my Optometry School graduation:

• Congratulations, Doctor. You look lovely with that rose.  Best friends for life?  Probably not, but that’s okay.  There will be other friends.
• Optometry school was such a challenge; who knew that studying one organ in the body could take 4 years of didactic and clinical hours? At least you might be able to get more than 3 hours of sleep a night from now on.
• You’re either brave or not too smart – you actually rented office space for your own practice before you graduated? Before you took your Boards? Before you even found out if you passed State & National Boards? But I guess if you believe in yourself – if you invest in yourself – all things will be well and will work out.
• This has been no small achievement.  By working harder now than you ever have, you’ll find it to be easier in later life.
• You will start from nothing, and in becoming successful, earn the trust of many.  Never take that for granted.
• Good luck in private practice (you’ll have 15 years). You have the tremendous privilege of being entrusted with people’s eyesight; take that seriously and remember to be mindful of the miracle that is sight.

Thoughts on my graduate school graduation:

• You did it! You switched careers and went back to school.  Who said life begins at 40?  There were right – late 40s, anyway.
• You found what you were born to do, where you were supposed to be.  These three years will count among the happiest times in your life.
• As an eye doctor, you helped people to see.  Now, as a therapist, you’ll help them to see with the eyes of their heart.
• You are going to sit with more pain, despair and suffering, in darkness, than you could ever imagine, or even know existed.  But you will be the better for it.  You will learn to look for the light.
• You will be a keeper of secrets, a listener of stories, and you will be changed forever.  You will learn compassion and presence and gain insight into this journey called life.
• You will see countless examples of the triumph of the human spirit, and will learn that we don’t have a soul, we are a Soul, in this, our Creator’s kindergarten.
• As a wounded healer, you will heal others, on their way to wholeness.  But don’t forget to offer yourself that same gift.
• You will tread on Sacred Ground.  Walk softly, for their spirits are diminished and their souls are bruised.
• Be well, my child, be well.  The best is yet to be!

_____________________________________________

Today’s Quote

fantom-xp

Keep constantly in mind how many things
you yourself have already witnessed changes.
The universe is change,
life is understanding.

~ Marcus Aurelius ~

_______________________________________________

Today’s Quote

 

“She Freakin’ Made It!”

“She freakin’ made it!”

With those words, Diana Nyad’s website announced her achievement to the world. And what an achievement it was!

After five attempts in three decades, this 64-year old athlete swam from Havana, Cuba to Key West, Florida.

103 miles in 53 hours.

Without a shark cage or flippers. Swallowing salt water. Getting sun-burned. Stung by jellyfish. Avoiding sharks. In pain. Exhausted.

Her first attempt was in 1978, then 3 more tries in 2011 and 2012.

This was her year. She did it. 64 years old young.

After she emerged from the water, she stood supported by one of her 35-person crew, dazed. Her skin burned and peeling, lips swollen, words slurred. She told the crowd of fans and reporters waiting on the beach that she had three messages:

 

One: “Never, never give up.”

Two: “You’re never too old to chase your dreams.”

Three: “It looks like a solitary sport, but it is a team.”

Words to live by. Spoken like the common man or woman’s hero heroine.

Not the kind that signed a contract for $50 million over 5 years. Not the kind that snorts or shoots up or resolves conflict with loaded weapons or their fists.

The kind of common woman who is quite uncommon. An ordinary person who just accomplished something extraordinary.

Spoken like the kind of athlete who never, never gave up. Who, even at 64 years old, kept chasing her dreams. Who realized that her odyssey was a team effort.

That kind of athlete.

One we can all admire for her strength, determination, discipline, courage, perseverance and graciousness.

And for her homespun wisdom that we should have all learned in kindergarten. If we didn’t learn it, it’s not too late.

Words to live by:

One: “Never, never give up.”

Two: “You’re never too old to chase your dreams.”

Three: “It looks like a solitary sport, but it is a team.”

Thank you, Diana Nyad, for showing us what can be accomplished if we just put our mind to it.

Thank you for motivating and inspiring all of us, especially those of us “of a certain age.”

Thank you for giving young people a decent role model, someone whose only stage is the wide open sea.

Most of all, Diana, thank you for you.

You are beautiful.

Your spirit shines.

2013

_________________________________________________________

Today’s Quote

“Fear not that your life will come to an end,
fear rather that it will never come to a beginning.”
~ John Henry Newman ~

Today’s Quote

“The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating.
The paths are not to be found, but made,
and the activity of making them
changes both the maker and the destinations.”
– John Schaar

My Pilgrimage to ?????

Assisi, Italy
photo: Sacred Destinations

Right now, I should be jet-lagged from Saturday’s return flight from Italy. Unpacking, doing laundry, going through stacks of mail, picking up my cat, Freddie, from my son’s gracious cat-sitting ordeal, watering the flowers, reliving my time on Pilgrimage in Assisi… [see: “My Journey with St. Francis, the Jesuits and Pope Francis – Part I“]

But I’m not…

In a post almost 6 months ago, I wrote of my hopes for this journey, a retreat for health care professionals that promised ‘renewal, respite and reflection’ in Assisi, Italy. St. Francis’ birthplace. Up close and personal to my daily prayer of “Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace…”

My pilgrimage that would take me to the same cobblestone streets where St. Francis walked, prayed and healed. Where I could best offer my gratitude for all blessings received (and they are many) in this life, and where I could best humbly ask for guidance, strength and wisdom in providing compassionate presence to those most in need.

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” ― Allen Saunders & John Lennon

My pilgrimage turned into a different journey, to a different place, perhaps even more sacred. A pilgrimage of the ordinary times in a marriage – the unexpected trials – the uncertain, dark and lonely times.

A pilgrimage is a journey or search of moral or spiritual significance. Typically, it is a journey to a shrine or other location of importance to a person’s beliefs and faith, although sometimes it can be a metaphysical journey into someone’s own beliefs. ~ Wikipedia

There are significant benefits to a second marriage when you are older – no time to waste on falseness; you already know what you need in a partnership, and you don’t bother looking for what isn’t healthy or what doesn’t exist. When you get married young, in the thralls of romance and knights in shining armor and dreams through rose-colored glasses, most of us don’t think of the “…in sickness and in health from this day forward until death do us part” portion of the vow. But when you form that union middle-aged, you are clearly aware that those times will undoubtedly be coming sooner rather than later.

And so they did…

I’ve had my share of hospital stays and “GOK” Disease (named by one of my doctors: “God Only Knows” Disease), surgeries and too-quick recoveries in my adult life, but my husband was one of the few who had made it this far in life without a hospital stay.

No longer.

Ten days before we were to depart for our rest and renewal workshop, he became ill – seriously ill – and landed in the hospital.

My pilgrimage.

Pilgrimage: a journey to a place that is connected with someone of something that you admire or respect. ~ Oxford Advanced Dictionary

My journey where I so eloquently hoped to “humbly ask for guidance, strength and wisdom in providing compassionate presence to those most in need.” Little did I know that when I had those hopes – indeed, had that certainty – for my pilgrimage, it would be directed toward my husband rather than a patient, client, student, stranger, or friend in need.

This time, it was much closer to home.

Pilgrimage: any long journey, especially one undertaken as a quest or for a votive purpose, as to pay homage; a journey, especially a long one, made to some sacred place as an act of religious devotion. ~ dictionary.com

Certainly this act of devotion, of care-taking, was assumed automatically. The decision to cancel our trip in light of the circumstances was easy. Yes, it was a missed opportunity that I had so looked forward to; yes, it would be inconvenient to have to reschedule the visit (hopefully) sometime in the future. But mostly, there was the disappointment that I was so sure that I would be shown some priceless wisdom while on this retreat. After all, I would be walking and praying where St. Francis walked and prayed. A lightning bolt would strike directly in front of me and all would be revealed.

How could I not be gifted with Divine Wisdom in so sacred a place?

Pilgrimage: the course of life on earth; journey undertaken to gain divine aid, as an act of thanksgiving or to demonstrate devotion. ~ Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Albrecht Durer

My prayers were answered – the Divine Wisdom was there – just not as I expected it (which is usually the case with me). The sacred places were the emergency and waiting rooms, the doctor’s offices that we are still visiting, the computer screen that listed the test results, the iPhone with family texts and conversations, the empty house at night… Not the cobblestone streets of Assisi, but rather the hospital corridors and parking lots and driveways that all leave their indelible mileage on your heart.

My husband is on his way to recovery; his energy level is improving a little day by day; his stubbornness is showing signs of resurfacing (that’s not such a good thing, but in light of the past month, I’ll take it); our conversations are becoming more regular and actually concern something other than mortality and bone marrow and fevers of unknown origin and Family Medical Leave.

Scared ground. All of this – the tears, the despair, the anxiety, the complete disruption of normalcy – is sacred ground.

A pilgrimage of sorts.

About marriage, love and partnership, fear and uncertainty, anger and decisions, devotion and things said or unsaid.

And hope. Always hope.

Hope that things that were once taken for granted and perhaps annoying would actually return (who knew?); that normalcy would once again be a part of our lives. Those ordinary things.

Ordinary, every day, ‘boring’ things that were, and are, in actuality, extraordinary.

This pilgrim is grateful. And humbled. Yet again, caught by surprise at how little I have control over things. Reminded that all will be well, regardless of my attempts to influence, ascertain, direct, determine, assure, limit, organize, out-maneuver whatever the future has in store.

Did I say that I was middle-aged? Chronologically perhaps, but naive none-the-less. Still learning. Still struggling. A work in progress.

A pilgrim on sacred ground.

It’s any place any one of us reaches out in love. It’s everywhere. It’s right beside us. Inside us. And it’s all about love.

“Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon,
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light, and
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive –
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.”

I walked with St. Francis on my pilgrimage. The wings that carried me weren’t part of an airplane…yet my feet never even touched the ground.

______________________________________________________________

Native American Prayer

Sun Up Till Sun Down

O Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds,
and whose breath gives life to all the world, hear me.
I am small and weak.
I need Your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes
ever hold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things You have made.
Make my ears sharp to hear Your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand the things
You have taught Your people.
Let me learn the lessons You have hidden
in every leaf and rock.
I seek strength, not to be greater than another,
but to fight my greatest enemy – myself.
Make me always ready to come to You
with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset,
my spirit may come to You without shame.

The Portrait of Our Lives

O Beauty ever ancient, ever new!
You are the designer of the portrait of our lives.
Each of us is an original work of art.
We have come from the kiln of your hand –
unique, beautiful and good, yet unfinished.
 Our “unfinishedness” is your way of asking us
 to be partners in our own creation.
In the living of our lives,
 some of the pieces of our mosaic have been marred.
Some are slightly flawed.
This wound in us may have taken place
because of our weakness or it may have happened
because of someone else’s poor vision.

Remind us, dear Mender of Lives,
that even the pieces you want to rip out
and throw away, you accept.
Not only do you accept them,
you cherish them.
 You reveal to us ever so gently
that they are part of the fabric of our lives.
 They have a right to be there.

Help us to look at each person as a work of art.
Be in our seeing that we may gaze upon ourselves
and one another with the eyes of an artist.
 Teach us to behold rather than merely to look at one another.
In our beholding we will begin to understand
that the shadows, the rough places,
the many colors and experiences
are all part of the beauty of the mosaic.

Just as you have not turned away from us,
never let us turn away from the beauty of our lives.

~ Macrina Wiederkehr ~
“Gold in Your Memories”

Our Worst Fear

Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate,
our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
 “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
 Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God;
your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some of us,
it is in everyone,
and as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission
to do the same.
 As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

~ Marianne Williamson~

Today’s Quote

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
 and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation
of honest criticism and
endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty
and find the best in others;
to leave this world a bit better
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch,
a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived –
this is to have succeeded.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

My Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech

Zach Sobiech died on Monday, May 20th, 2013. He was 18 years old.

When he was 14 years old, he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a type of bone cancer found in children. Zach endured months of chemotherapy and had several surgeries. In May, 2012, more cancer was found in his lungs and pelvis. Rather than have surgery to remove his leg and part of his pelvis, Zach and his parents decided to enjoy the 6 – 12 months he had left.

So, Zach decided to write songs. His song “Clouds,” which you can see below on YouTube, has had more than 4 million views.

“My closure is being able to get my feelings into these songs so they (family & friends) can have something to remember me by or lean on when I’m gone.”

 

“You don’t have to find out you’re dying to start living…” ~ Zach Sobiech

Zach got to drive his dream car for a week, courtesy of his parents. His girlfriend Amy (“I love her to death; I will love her to my death.”) stayed by his side, as did his close-knit family and school friends.

He inspired so many people that Rainn Wilson of YouTube’s SoulPancake channel made a 22-minute documentary called “My Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech,” which you can watch below in its entirety.

Have a box of tissues close at hand.

But don’t have them because of Zach’s death this week; rather, have them handy because of Zach’s life. His wisdom is more than most 50-year olds, and his heart is bigger than most, too.

After I watched the documentary, I felt stronger and blessed for having met him, my tears more happy than sad. And I wasn’t able to stop my smile in the midst of my tears, just for having met such an amazing human being.

Zach – My life is richer for having listened to “Clouds” and having watched 22 minutes about your 18 year life.

Eternal rest, Zach Sobiech, and may perpetual light shine upon you.

Your soul dazzles and shines with your light.

You are beautiful. You will be remembered.

My thanks…

Thoughts for My Son on Mother’s Day

Call Mom.
Pick your battles.
Be kind.
Thoughts matter.
Breathe.
Count to five before you speak.
Look beyond what you see.
Don’t judge.
Rescue an animal.
Keep your word.
Give back.
 Be present.
Apologize.
Give thanks.
Choose your words with care.
Dance to your own music.
Character matters.
Listen with your heart.
Honor your family.
Respect your elders.
Share.
Play fair.
Be honest.
Remember where you came from.
Root for the underdog.
Volunteer.
Be charitable.
Keep the faith.
Look people in the eye.
Mean what you say.
Follow through.
Be a good example.
Listen.
Color outside the lines.
Smile.
Purple glitter makes everything better.
Feed the birds.
Remember that squirrels like birdseed, too.
Be compassionate.
Enjoy thunderstorms.
Talk to animals.
Pray.
Be true to yourself.
Visit other countries.
Try your best.
Put in an honest day’s work.
Forgive.
Hold fast to your beliefs.
Patience really is a virtue.
Nothing is random.
Follow your moral compass.
Never give up.
Ask for advice.
Reach out to others.
We’re all in this together.
Admit when you’re wrong.
Offer a firm handshake.
Laugh with gusto.
All things in moderation.
Good will always triumph over evil.
Life isn’t fair, but that’s okay.
Give good hugs.
Don’t lose hope.
Be passionate.
Seek the truth.
Look within.
There is meaning in suffering.
Listen to the birds each morning.
Don’t forget the sunsets.
Go sailing.
Smile.
Surround yourself with color.
Hunt the Northern Lights.
Water your flowers.
Plant a tree.
It will be okay.
Every ending is another beginning.
Write real thank you notes.
Cuddle.
It’s okay to say no.
Sing to babies.
Remember those who have gone before you.
Take your hat off inside.
Offer your help.
Say thank you.
Don’t take it personally.
There are many levels of love.
Don’t hold grudges.
Be a gentleman and a gentle man.
Avoid toxic people.
Tip well.
Look to the stars.
Lose yourself in the clouds.
Stop for all rainbows.
Take the road less travelled.
Be well.
Remember that Mom loves you.

You are my greatest blessing.

Today’s Quote

If fate throws a knife at you,
there are two ways of catching it –
by the blade
or
by the handle.

~ Oriental Proverb ~

Today’s Quote

As you walk and eat and travel,
be where you are.
Otherwise,
you will miss most of your life.

~ The Buddha ~

The Last Lecture – A Legacy

Randy Pausch

October 23, 1960 – July 25, 2008

“How to live your life well?
Remember…
it is not the things we do in life that we regret…
it is the things we do not.

Find your passion and follow it.
You will not find passion in things;
that passion will be grounded in people
and the relationships you have with people,
and what they think of you
when your time comes.”

May 2008 Commencement
Carnegie Mellon University
Author of “The Last Lecture”

Visit Carnegie Mellon’s video of Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture on “Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

Today’s Quote

The ABCs of Life

Accept differences.
Be kind.
Count your blessings.
Dream.
Express thanks.
Forgive.
Give freely.
Harm no one.
Imagine more.
Jettison anger.
Keep confidences.
Love truly.
Master something.
Nurture hope.
Open your mind.
Pack lightly.
Quell rumors.
Reciprocate.
Seek wisdom.
Touch hearts.
Understand.
Value truth.
Win graciously.
Xeriscape.
Yearn for peace.
Zealously support a worthy cause.

~ Author Unknown ~

Today’s Quote

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Laugh.
Play with abandon.
Fail with enthusiasm.
Continue to learn.
Love well.
Appreciate your friends.
Practice wellness.
Choose with no regrets.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.

~ Mary Anne Radmacher ~